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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

i've lost that lovin feelin...

so the "training" thing hasn't happened the last few days...no success yesterday- I chose to stay in and eat chinese food, and today, I actually got my butt to the pool...to find out there was an error in pool times on the website and it was actually closed...so instead of doing an alternate workout...or doing a workout this afternoon...I chose to do school/other things.

I love training- nothing beats the feeling after you've completed a tough workouts; I love the feeling of accomplishment. I love the actual workouts too- long runs and bikes are great for thinking and enjoying the outdoors; intense/interval rides/runs give me this empowered feeling- I love hills,- whatta way to work your muscular endurance in addition to your cardiovascular endurance! I love what triathlon has done for my body and my mind...and honestly, I don't hate swimming. When I was in Florida for my internship this summer, I was doing some consistent swim training, and I really did enjoy the pull/paddle sets and middle-distance sets. I do miss that 50yd outdoor pool...

I'm fighting this battle with myself...it's like I'm "punishing" myself by depriving myself of what I love to do- "it takes up too much of my time- I should be working on school/running this errand/etc..." when I DO have time, I've worked hard and been given a great opportunity, and I'm not letting myself take advantage of it.

I'm afraid this battle is also not allowing me to work to my potential in other aspects of life as well- I can put a lot on my plate, and handle it well, but I choose not to put in that "extra" effort to do something great. I've always been a hard worker and have always aimed big, but my work ethic and "do" capacity has definitely diminished over the years.

I've gotta get that ugwi feeling back...

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